It is a fact of the parent/teenager relationship there comes a time when your role as a mother or father changes. I must say for me it was something I have found hard to cope with. My feelings were ones of not being needed or wanted. Of course, the reality is that my teenager is growing to be an independent loving boy who while he still wants a connection to us, he also wants to find out where his place in the world is.
Recently I have been wondering what the next stage will be in our relationship and at what point he will be taking the lead and I will be the one following?
I can see some of that now and then at age 14 when he isn’t that interested in chatting for long periods of time. However, I constantly remind myself that it will ebb and flow like this until such times he heads off to University or work.
What I’m saying now is that I miss him and he isn’t at that stage yet! I guess as I see my teenager growing in confidence and independence every day I am trying my best to navigate the changes and the separation as he becomes more independent.
The truth is that letting go of our children at whatever stage of development is extremely hard. I know with my logic head on it has absolutely nothing to do with him not loving me as a parent. The reality is that my mother isn’t that central in my life today, of course she is part of it but not as much as when I was young.
At the moment I’m finding it difficult letting my teenager take the lead. But I know that it is part of being a parent, after all we successful got through to the teenager journey by allowing him to take the lead.
It is only right that I continue to follow his lead no matter how difficult it is for me as a parent. It’s just that it all seems to be happening so fast.
Is there a ‘right’ time to let your teenagers take the lead? What are your thoughts?
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