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6 TIPS FOR DISCIPLINING YOUR TEENAGER

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Disciplining is difficult as a parent at the best of times.  It becomes even more difficult with teenagers.  Having a balance between instilling independence in your teenager to setting boundaries means as a parent we have a fine line to tread.

 

Below I’ve listed some ways to help you with discipline for your teenagers.

 

Stay calm & don’t overreact

In the heat of the moment this is the most difficult thing to do but it’s also important.  If you need to give yourself time to calm down, remove yourself from the situation for as long as you need.  Also, do you need to say anything at all?  For example you may not agree with your teenager’s haircut or fashion so let it be.  Of course talk to your partner but some things are best left alone as saying something can cause more problems.

 

Be clear & precise

If you have rules make sure your teenager knows about them and they are clear and fair.  This means if your teenager breaks the rule they know exactly what the consequences are.  I would also suggest you make the ground rules together and talk about what is fair and unfair consequences.

 

Listen first, act second

Don’t go rushing in to a judgement or a punishment without listening to what your teenager has to say.  They may have a valid reason for something but you won’t know until you listen.  Hear what your teenager has to say and then take time to respond in a calm manner.

 

Appropriate punishment

Be fair with your punishment and let the punishment fit the crime.  Of course it will depend on the seriousness of what they have done but again have in your mind what kind of punishments would be suitable for different situations.

 

Follow through

I find this is tough, not just for me but for most parents.  Believe in the ground rules you have set and always follow through.  If you don’t then your teenager will start to take advantage.  Consistency is key to this.   Ask for your partner’s help with this.

 

Don’t forget to praise your teenager

If your teenager has done something good or has consistently kept within the rules, praise them.  This will help your teenager’s self esteem.

 

Related posts

Tips on How To Talk to Your Teenager about Alcohol

How 30 Minutes A Day can help you stay connected to your teen

Ways to Keep Your Children Safe Online

 

I hope these tips will help you with disciplining your teenager.  Remember teenagers will want to do different things from what we want them to.  They will also want to find their own way in the world and will rebel against you.  It’s a normal part of growing up.  Before you do discipline your teenager, remember to ask yourself if the situation warrants it.

 

Good luck, let me know how you get on.

 

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Communication

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO STEP BACK AND LET YOUR TEENAGERS TAKE THE LEAD?

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It is a fact of the parent/teenager relationship there comes a time when your role as a mother or father changes.  I must say for me it was something I have found hard to cope with.  My feelings were ones of not being needed or wanted.  Of course, the reality is that my teenager is growing to be an independent loving boy who while he still wants a connection to us, he also wants to find out where his place in the world is.

 

Recently I have been wondering what the next stage will be in our relationship and at what point he will be taking the lead and I will be the one following?

 

I can see some of that now and then at age 14 when he isn’t that interested in chatting for long periods of time.  However, I constantly remind myself that it will ebb and flow like this until such times he heads off to University or work.

 

What I’m saying now is that I miss him and he isn’t at that stage yet!  I guess as I see my teenager growing in confidence and independence every day I am trying my best to navigate the changes and the separation as he becomes more independent.

 

The truth is that letting go of our children at whatever stage of development is extremely hard.  I know with my logic head on it has absolutely nothing to do with him not loving me as a parent.  The reality is that my mother isn’t that central in my life today, of course she is part of it but not as much as when I was young.

 

At the moment I’m finding it difficult letting my teenager take the lead.  But I know that it is part of being a parent, after all we successful got through to the teenager journey by allowing him to take the lead.

 

It is only right that I continue to follow his lead no matter how difficult it is for me as a parent.  It’s just that it all seems to be happening so fast.

 

Is there a ‘right’ time to let your teenagers take the lead?  What are your thoughts?

 

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TEENAGERS

 

 

 

 

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Communication

MY MESSAGE TO ALL PARENTS

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Dear Mum / Dad

 

Over the course of this week I have come in to contact with a number of parents.  What has struck me is how hard parents are on themselves.  Only yesterday a mother was berating herself for not doing a good enough job at getting her teenager out in the sunshine.  The day before another mother was annoyed at herself for not knowing how best to communicate with her daughter.

 

In all of these encounters it is clear that us parents are very hard on ourselves.  I am writing this post to tell you that I know it’s not easy being a parent.  There are joyous moments.  Moments that we treasure for a lifetime.  There are also challenging times that cause us no end of emotional turmoil.  Often these challenges can be on a daily basis. It’s not as if there was a manual given to us with our child!  So we all try our best to raise our children as best we can. This is often based on how we were raised as children ourselves and what we have gleaned from books and the internet.

 

So, I just want to tell you – yes you mum and yes you dad – that you are doing great.  I know we worry,we get angry, we get frustrated, we continually second guess ourselves at every turn, we worry about the decisions we have made and we worry about the future and the decisions we have yet to make.

 

Please remember you are doing great.  Remember also to be in the hear and now and continue to embrace your relationship with your child.  But above all else, remember to give yourself a break!

 

Love and happiness to you x

 

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message to parents

 

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Communication